The Unmarried and Widows - Page 1 of 7 (series: Lessons on 1st Corinthians)

by John Lowe
(Woodruff, S.C.)

December 7, 2012
Commentary on First Corinthians
By: Tom Lowe
Topic #6: Questions Concerning Marriage, 1 Corinthians 7.1-7.40


Lesson 6.2: The Unmarried and Widows
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7.8-16

1 Cor 7.8-16 (KJV)
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Introduction
In this passage the apostle develops guidelines for three categories of individuals: the unmarried and widows (vss. 8–9), the married believers (vss. 10–11), and mixed marriages (vss. 12–16). Some of the topics covered are; celibacy, chastity, marriage, stoicism, and virgins.

Commentary
The Unmarried and Widows
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,
Here Paul began his answer to the question of whether unmarried persons (widows and widowers, naturally included) should marry or not. He is not giving these Corinthian believers a command, but advice. By the "unmarried" he means, either those men who were never married, or those men who had been married, but their wives were dead; the latter meaning seems more agreeable, since they are mentioned along with "widows", which is a term that usually designates women who had lost their husbands; however, it is used here for those who were at that time unmarried, and his reasoning applies to both classes; unmarried women and widows, but chiefly to widows and widowers. No doubt, widows would have had cause to consider their situation a sad one, and therefore desire to have it changed. At the close of this chapter (vs. 7.25) Paul gives particular consideration to females who had never been married.
it is good for them if they abide
It is good for them to remain unmarried, because in the present circumstances of persecution and distress that existed against Christians, it would be better not to be encumbered with the cares and anxieties of a family. This is the advice the apostle gives later in his epistle, and it is very similar to what he said here: “I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be… But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord…But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife…There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (1 Cor 7:26, 32-34; KJV). His advice for them is to stay like they are; if they are not married, do not change! It is not that it was sinful to marry again, since he allows it in the next verse, in case they do not have the gift of continence (the ability to control their sexual desires); and therefore "good" here, is not opposed to evil; it only signifies that it would be better for them to remain single, since they would be more free from the cares of life, have less trouble, and have more time available to serve the Lord. And he knew this by experience, and therefore, he offers himself as an example; even as I.
even as I.
If they have the apostle’s self-control, it is well for them to remain unmarried, even as he. Not that the unmarried state is better, but on account of "the present distress"—“I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be (unmarried). There are times when it is best to remain unmarried; for instance, in a time of war. The grounds for his advice are not moral, but prudent.
At that time it seems certain that he did not have a wife; although whether he had had one, and she was now dead, or whether he had never been married, may be matter of dispute; the former seems the most likely, since he offers himself as an example to widowers and widows; and having known what it is like to be both married and single, he was qualified to give his opinion of both.
Note: The personal reference here is not identical with that given in verse 7. The point of verse 7 has to do with being content with the gift God gives you. This verse merely points to the matter of remaining unmarried.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry:
Almost all versions read "if they do not contain"; if they do not have the gift of continency (self control; the ability to control their sexual desires); if they are not even willing to make an attempt to control their sexual desires because they think it would be impossible for them to do; if they lack either the will or power to contain their desires, if they find it inconvenient and uncomfortable to continue as widowers and widows, “let them marry.” It is not only lawful for them to marry, but it is right and best for them; but they should never be compelled to marry. And so, we gather from this that second marriages are lawful, although they were condemned by some of the ancient people: because it is better to marry than to burn, which is the next clause. “To burn” does not refer to material fire, such as Judah ordered Tamar to be burnt with for the sin of whoredom; nor does it refer to hell fire, which is the just reward of a life without Christ; but to the fire of lust itself; and so the Syriac version has it, "it is better to marry than to be burnt with lust." When a person finds himself having lustful notions and desires, and a growing craving to satisfy his sexual desires, he is said to be on fire with the lusts of the flesh, and he may be in great danger of being drawn into committing fornication, adultery, and even unnatural acts; it is much better for him to enter into marriage, though it may have its concerns, inconveniences, and difficulties, than to be under temptations and unholy desires that could eventually ruin your Christian testimony and cause the loss of eternal rewards. Paul's recommendation to marry in such cases as we have mentioned is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, that were especially relevant in his day (as explained in 1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God's plan for meeting our sexual needs. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn't want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual's gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons: “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils…Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron…Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth” (1 Tim 4:1-3; KJV). Paul was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly. McGarvey's analysis of Paul's answer has this: "He advises the unmarried who have the gift of self-control to remain unmarried, but those lacking it should avoid unlawful lusts by marriage."
for it is better to marry than to burn.
This expression is not to be taken to indicate that the apostle envisions marriage in mere physical, brute terms. Rather, it is to be taken in light of the preceding clause. That is, if a person’s gift is to be married, then let him not try to exercise a gift he does not possess by remaining unmarried.
Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or unspiritual because they desire to get married so that they will not “burn” with passion. “It is better to marry (but it is not preferred) than to burn” with passion, but Paul is not speaking about what we might consider "normal" sexual temptation. It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot resist it. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been saddened to find that his lust for other women did not magically "go away" when he got married. Sometimes, only the dew of God's grace is able to stifle the flame, which otherwise would thrust men into hell-fire.