The Fight

by Karen Van Aarde
(South Africa)

This is a poem on my flesh and how it knocks me down sometimes. I battled and still battle my tongue. It's much better now and victory is mine in our Lord Jesus Christ for He assists me all the time and helps me up when I took a bad punch again and assures me that He still loves me even if I made a mistake.
You see, that is the bigest amo for satan, to take our guilt and use it against us if we made a mistake. Father God always searches our hearts and looks at our true intent. Oh how I love Him so much, He is truly the reason why I want to get up everyday and live. If it wasn't for Him, life would have no meaning.

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The Fight

This battle seems to go on like it has no end
I’m so tired and weary of keeping up my defence

I have stricken you over and over, with my hardest blows
But time and time, you gather your strength, and once again arose

You have been with me, since I was a babe
But your identity was revealed to me the moment I got saved

You are a whole world dipped in wickedness, of corruption you know well
The tongue can set your whole life ablaze that burns with fire straight from hell

You are a thorn in my side, oh how can I ever pull you out
You cause others harm on my account, in utter pain and despair I shout

To my Lord and King, of all sinners, you will find me the worst
For I hold a mouth that hurts others, consider my tongue cursed

It squeals its way underneath my radar, I seem to never notice
That I’m busy hurting someone’s feelings, I have lost all focus

For I’m so caught up in my own mind, busy with my own thing
That I never realize the harshness or what’s busy happening

Oh throw me in a cave and cover up the hole
For over my own tongue, I have lost all control

Oh dear Jesus, I know that with time, all will be new
But until then, this bitterness I have to chew

Can I not spit my tongue out; it is the easy way it seems
For I cannot bear one day longer with its evil schemes

Oh dear Jesus, this battle is so hard for me to fight
I can never do this on my own strength, on my own might

Please make it disappear so that I can be spared to see
All of the hurt my tongue causes my brother, my sister and me

My words are out before I even get to realize
Then with all control being lost another friendship dies

It’s so very hard for me, for this is how my parents used to speak
I grew up this way, but in the outside world they see me as a freak

Oh Jesus, can you bind the evil of my tongue, never to speak again
Please save me from this curse, otherwise I will forever be condemned

I share my pain with You, I know You understand my struggle
For You say in Your word that You were also tempted by this trouble

But You, dear Jesus, every temptation You overcame
With Your blood, You washed away all of my shame

Dear Lord, I plead with You, with all my heart
Make others understand, I never meant any harm from the start

I feel trapped like a mouse, stuck in a maize
For I grew up speaking the way I do, oh how I wish this was only a faze

But underneath all of my heartfelt pain and despair
I really do love, straight from the heart, I really do care

You said that love covers all and wipes away my sin
Let the love I have in my heart, heal every hurt from within

Now I fight a fight in a ring, against myself it seems
I see the old man, packing a punch at me, like in a dream

Throw in the towel Jesus, I’m bruised and banged up, I cannot take anymore
But then You hold my name up high, showing me the final score

By feeding the inner man with every word of Christ
You will win the good fight, until the old man, has been sacrificed

I know You are at my side Jesus, I can hear Your motivating shouts
Cheering me on, saying You love me, it wipes away all of my doubts

That my Father will never leave me in my time of desperate need
I am a part of Him, daughter of the Most High God I am indeed

I know not much, but one thing I do know very well
That God lives in my heart, but on my tongue, He does not dwell

So let my mouth, ever be connected to my heart
Then the word will live in me, We will never again be set apart